The Betaman – online counseling

(Part 11 from: The Man-Woman-conflict from evolutionary-psychological view)
(How spiritual assessments from the primeval times guide and influence love relationships)

The unwanted at the change of roles

In my opinion, this should be hard for any men, if they decide to swap roles with their wife; this means, they take over caring for the children, while the wife earns the family upkeep.

Seen from the aspect of an occupational assimilation of chances in favor of the woman, is the model of parenting-free-time for the man a fair idea. It is also good for the man’s personality development – whose caring-female side leads a rather shadowy existence. I seriously believe it is doubtful, that with many couples, this change of roles agrees with the marital sexuality.

Basically, I cannot imagine that after work, an occupational woman in a demanding position will have a cup of tea, watch her husband bathe, dry off and powder the children – and then engages with him in a hot love scene three hours later.

The man’s erotic attraction for a woman is fed from a totally different source than the one to take over the role of the mother full-time. In the most general sense, the question imposes with slight irony, just how much are men still sexual acceptable partners for women when they have been softened by the “feminine revolution”.

In millions of years of evolution, nature set different gender roles for women and men, which made them – looked at condescendingly – work together in a form of symbiosis in order to jointly raise children. From a justified social-political consideration, these traditional role patterns are being questioned and are about to be dispersed nowadays. Thereby, predispositions from prehistoric times collide with demands of modern lifestyle. Maybe this is why not everything which seems good and feasible can be embedded in society. If one looks at sexuality as one of the bearing pillars, which protect a marriage, then presumably one cannot forbear to consider the phylogenetic evolutionary processes of the Homo sapiens, which are eons long.

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However, briefly coming back to the subject of listlessness once again, which also concerns the male gender: Certainly sickness and occupational difficulties can influence the partner’s sexual listlessness. The one being listless often lists children, chronicle changes, birth control and many more; in my experience, it is often just a rationalization to label the unexplainable. One is astonished, that in a new liaison of such a “listless” person, that a former completely listless one – who’s accompanying problems are unchanged – erotically totally thrives in the new relationship…

The psychological reality of this delicate issue remains that one, whether he wants to believe it or not, is incapable of bringing the erotic energies of the other barely or not at all to a flow. Each little indisposition when couples are dealing with each other worsens this condition. This fact should not necessarily be seen as the initial responsible variable. Also, oneself cannot, or barely not “work” on these problems because feelings are spontaneous phe- nomenons, which won’t let themselves get resolved willingly.

It would be same if you would try to sleep more deeply or fall in love with a certain person on purpose. To determine the fate of such a couple, it is to see that, if an intervention from outside is successful to revoke the couple’s strong polarization and if this is sufficient enough to mobilize ample erotic energies from the listless one.

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